It's the new year - Have you taken stock of what you really want out of your West Coast Swing lately? Because now's a REALLY good time to do that!
Consider this your opportunity to do a philosophical audit of your WCS, and "clean your closet" so you can dump some dead weight in your dance and focus on what you really want.
Ask yourself: What do you really want in West Coast Swing?
Here's a quick menu to choose from! Or maybe these will spark new ideas. Don't fall into the trap of saying, "All of them!". Read more below...
Social
- More people asking me to dance
- Confidence
- A social network
- Acceptance/inclusion
- Attractiveness/dating
- Admiration
- Identity
Competition
- Public success
- Improvement
- Trophies
- Fame/status
- Achievement (points)
Skills
- Competence
- Mastery
- Challenge
- Self-expression through dance
- Kinesthetic/Sensory Satisfaction
Community
- More people to dance with
- More opportunities to dance
- Money
- To feel needed
- To spread the love
- To affect change
Take a moment before answering: your first answer might be keeping you from being honest with yourself, which might be sabotaging your ability to have your needs met.
Many dancers approach us seeking advice, from all corners of the WCS scene: students, teachers, competitors, non-dancing spectators, social dancers, event directors. Our responses as coaches vary, depending not only on who’s asking, but on what their purpose is.
A common mistake dancers make is following advice intended for someone who has different needs/goals/reasons for dancing WCS.
Right now, check in with yourself: what goals or needs do you have NOW?
They are likely different from when you started. They're also likely different than this time last year.
Either way, if you have goals and/or needs that are not being satisfied, it’s time for an audit. Time to reassess and make some course-corrections if necessary.
Over the next 4 articles, I'm going to look at all the most common things dancers want out of their WCS, one category at a time, and explain how you can take action to get what you want starting now.
These are the kind of articles you want to read slowly and think. Read and consider all of these goals/needs – you may discover some less obvious ones that you can relate to. Or maybe this will spark some ideas that aren't listed.
All of these reasons/desires are valid: I’m not going to convince you to change any of them: But your (honest) reasons should dictate the path you choose and the decisions you make.
Said another way,
The advice you follow depends on what you really want from West Coast Swing.
So let's start the series with the most common reason people are attracted to WCS in the first place:
Social
Part 1: Social Goals/Needs
- Confidence
- A social network
- Acceptance/inclusion
- Attractiveness/dating
- Admiration
- Identity
- More people asking me to dance
You might want all of these, but consider which ones are MOST important to you.
1. I want confidence
Dancing is a great confidence-booster. It is often linked to other needs, such as competence or acceptance. Your confidence will improve the more you tackle and succeed at miniature “wins”, such as:
- not needing to count your steps anymore
- finally unlocking that move/trick you have been trying to master
- having a Pro ask you to dance.
Be sure to acknowledge and accumulate the little wins.
But keep in mind that confidence is a mental game skill. Just because it is often correlated with competence, does not mean that all competent dancers are confident or that you can only be confident if you are competent. You need to TRAIN your confidence separately from your physical skills. You can find small ways to work on your confidence from a variety of sources, both within WCS and also non-dance related. We coach dancers explicitly and thoroughly to improve their confidence in our Swing Literacy programs.
If any of these resonate with you and you want to learn more, at the end of this article I'll provide suggestions for what to read next.
2. I want a social network
Being new in town or having an isolating job are examples of reasons you might need to develop a social network. WCS provides lots of opportunities for socializing in different forms. Be sure to tune in to all of the WCS activities available, both local and global, live and online.
Don’t just stick to your group classes and your studio’s Facebook group. Explore outside and discover different events and resources: diversify!
Think beyond the dance floor: take advantage of social outings and quality time with dancers outside of the studio to enrich the quality of your network relationships.
3. I want acceptance/inclusion
Keeping in mind the harsh reality that high school politics exist throughout our lives, there are some things you can do to ensure you are accepted or included.
Showing up is half the battle – you have to be present in people’s minds for them to invite you to things.
Engaging in meaningful conversation and asking questions shows that you are interested, and people love to feel interesting.
Humility and respect goes a long way – if you are accepting and inclusive, you will gain and retain more fans.
When others see you working on your dance and improving, they take it as evidence that you care about giving partners a better experience. This is a social indicator that you are putting yourself in the game and not just sitting on the sidelines.
4. I want attractiveness/dating
It’s inevitable: dance changes people: almost always for the better. This is your chance to evolve and upgrade! If attractiveness/dating is a goal for you, you can start by being more mindful.
Look around: Study the dancers you admire and what they all have in common: how they dress, dance, treat each other, talk to others, make jokes, wear their hair/makeup. I’m not saying you need to be a carbon copy, just use others for inspiration and modelling.
Put a little more conscious effort into your appearance and manners so you can be more deliberate about how you present yourself to others. Take care to "shake off your day" and avoid bringing negative energy with you to the dance space.
Intentionally seek out learning opportunities, not only because having a growth mindset is sexy, but also because the context gives you something to talk about with others.
5. I want admiration
You might admit to yourself that you like to be admired: crowds cheering, likes on Facebook, compliments in person and comments on YouTube, etc.
Admiration is nice to have, but is it "need-to-have" for you? Be honest: if you didn’t get any of these things, would you suffer? Would you still want to dance?
If you don't need it to be happy in dance, just skip this one. But if deep down you actually *need* admiration in order not to suffer, you might need to work on this outside of dancing.
I’m not judging, but this could be a slippery slope, so it’s important to stay balanced. Be sure you are deriving enjoyment from your other needs/goals too so that you don’t rely too much on what other people think.
6. I want identity
Once you get really embedded in WCS, you can’t imagine your life without it! It’s comforting and invigorating to have a hobby you are passionate about.
Think: Who are you in WCS? To deepen your engagement and serve the dance that has brought you so much joy, consider getting involved in leadership activities, such as volunteering, hosting, DJing, or even teaching.
However, be sure to keep some balance in your life: imagine if WCS was suddenly extracted from your life: what would you have left? Who are you outside of dance?
Be sure to maintain your non-dance priorities: work, relationships, family, other hobbies, nutrition, self-care, etc.
This happened recently due to the pandemic: the whole WCS scene was decimated. Fortunately, students in our Swing Literacy programs survived and thrived through online training programs, but even they were forced to take a hard look at their life balanced without WCS social dancing and events.
It's great that this hobby adds colour to your identity. But make sure it's not your only identity.
7. I want more people asking me to dance
It’s nice to be wanted! To have approval and to be desirable (as a partner)!
It’s boring to sit on the sidelines. Everyone needs to accept their responsibility for asking other people to dance and not just pouting and waiting to be asked.
But, if you are doing your share of asking and no one ever asks you, there might be a reason.
Take a private lesson to get some honest feedback on your dancing – you might be doing something that is offending or deterring partners. The instructor can help guide you to more desirable dance methods and social behaviour.
There's a great article to get you started on this self-awareness below...
Don't see yours listed? Don't worry - there are 3 more articles in this series so stay tuned! In the meantime, check out the recommended articles below.
Pitfalls to avoid
Satisfying one of your needs/goals disproportionately may be counterproductive
If one of your goals is to increase your dating pool, if you start sleeping around with many dancers, you could be damaging your local reputation, depleting your dating pool rather than increasing it.
Pursuit of your needs/goals could turn unhealthy
This dance can be addictive, but consider the costs. If you are struggling to pay your rent, you really should be reconsidering those flights and hotels and event passes. West Coast Swing will still be here when your bank account recovers.
Focus your efforts on activities that satisfy your actual needs, not the popular choices
Just because all your friends are competing in Jack&Jills, doesn’t mean you have to. If you’ve tried to get into it and it really doesn’t inspire you and doesn’t fill your bucket, don’t force yourself to do something that will lead to resentment.
Do a cost-benefit analysis
If you can social dance 3x/week but one of the dances is 3 hours away, you have to weigh if attending that dance is something you need more than the time and stress you could save on the commute.
Ok so now what?
Once you have identified what your most important goals/needs are, you can use this to help guide some decisions you make about:
- How much time you dedicate to lessons, parties, events, etc.
- How much money you invest in each activity
- How much emotional investment you put into each of these goals
Then use some of the tips mentioned here as a starting point to take action to get more of what you really want.
Below are a few articles that provide more detail.
But first, move on to Part 2 where I will help you identify skill-related goals you have and how to take action to work toward them.
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Of course, the tips in this article just scratch the surface of the ocean of coaching that is available to you. We provide coaching on these topics and more in the Swing Literacy coaching programs.
jeg vil bare lære at danse wcs, ligesom jeg danser swing og rocken roll – dans gør mig glad